Bobby Terry, you SCROOOOED UP!

That's a quote from "The Stand," by Stephen King. When Bobby Terry accidentally shoots the Judge in the face, Randall Flagg is a bit upset, and Bobby winds up a bit dead. Right now, I rather wish I could chew up the folks at Lush's online division.

See, they had this wonderful, amazing sale on Christmas Day, and didn't tell anyone about it--you pretty much had to be on the computer and visiting the Lush website right on Christmas to benefit. From what I've read, they gave away some amazing stuff. But, okay, I don't need to spend any more money, I placed an order right before Christmas, and although I was miffed at how they handled the sale, I've made my peace with it.

That is, until today, when I was notified that three of the items I ordered at 10:30 a.m. PST on Friday, December 22nd, were out of stock (and since they were Christmas items, there won't be any more, unless Lush decides to make the same item next year). Of course, Lush didn't get my order ready for shipping until today, six days AFTER I posted my order, and some of the folks who benefited from the sale got FREE Holidays (my item).

To say I'm a bit miffed is putting it mildly. Frankly, right now I want Randy Flagg's teeth.

By request

Lush has a message board, and one of the subforums is "Lush P*o*r*n," wherein members post pictures of their Lush stashes. I decided to do something a bit different for my stash thread, and Sherri requested that I share it here so she doesn't have to join the Lush board.

A Lush Fairy Tale


Cast of Characters (in order of appearance):

Peasants: Tisty Tosty
King Frank: Blue Skies
Queen Cosi: The Comforter
Princess Herbaceous: French Kiss
Visiting Princes: Ceridwen, Avobath, Wish Upon A Star
Prince Sonny: Sunny Side
Guards: Wiccy
Ladies in Waiting: Holiday(s)
Gentlemen of the Court: Christmas Kisses(es)
Blob Monster Supervisors: Old Blue Skies
Blob Monsters: Christingly(s)
Mysterious Wise Old Wizard: Amandapondo
Magistrate: Think Pink

Once upon a time, there was a small kingdom named Bathtopia. The peasants were happy in their hovels.



King Frank and Queen Cosi doted upon their beautiful adopted daughter, Princess Herbaceous, who everyone just called “Herbi.”



The Princess was very picky (and more than a little spoiled), and no matter how many eligible young men visited the castle, she turned up her nose at them.





One day, Princess Herbi was out riding her pet dragon.



She met a mysterious young man.



He said he was Prince Sonny, from a neighboring kingdom. Because he hadn’t been paraded in front of her as a possible husband, she liked him, and he seemed to like her too. They started meeting every day on their rides, and soon they fell in love.



When Princess Herbi took Prince Sonny to meet her parents, they were shocked and appalled!



“NO!” said the King and Queen. “You may NOT marry him! Your children will smell disgusting! And they’ll be glittery!”

They sent Prince Sonny away and locked Princess Herbi up with her ladies-in-waiting. Princess Herbi wept and screamed and laid on the floor holding her breath until she turned purple, but the King and the Queen were adamant.



That night, she tried to sneak out of the castle, so her parents sent her away to a remote location guarded by blob monsters.



When Prince Sonny arrived at the castle the next day, the King and the Queen gloated that Princess Herbi was out of reach and had their guard throw him out. He went home and consulted his childhood mentor, the Wise Old Wizard.



The Wise Old Wizard consulted his charts, did a spell, and said he could find Princess Herbi, but Prince Sonny should bring all his friends to fight the blob monsters.

After a long and arduous ride, Prince Sonny, his friends and the Wise Old Wizard arrived at the secret castle where Princess Herbi was held prisoner.





They battled the blob monsters.





There was carnage on both sides.



It was ugly.



But they were victorious!



Princess Herbi flew from the castle into Prince Sonny’s arms.



“Oh, my love, you rescued me!”

“Yes, my precious, and we shall never be separated again!”

Prince Sonny had even brought a magistrate to marry them on the spot.



They returned to Bathtopia, and told the King and the Queen what had happened.

The Queen fainted.

The King yelled.

But eventually, they threw a grand ball to celebrate.





They all lived happily ever after.

Even if Princess Herbi and Prince Sonny did in fact have stinky, glittery children.

Ms. CraftyButt

The fruits of several nights' labor, all laid out and ready to wrap & pack:











The pale yellow is raspberry lemonade, the purple bath salts are lavender, the light purple soaps & fizzies are pearberry, the deep red is carnation/rose, the dark purple soaps are cherry, the yellow/green soaps are lemongrass, the pale orange is spiced citrus, the bright blue is peppermint and the dark red/cream/orange are various combos of clove, cinnamon, orange and vanilla.

Off to pack all this stuff for shipping! :-)

O Torturous Torment!

No, I am not talking about the aches in my gluteus maximus and my right calf from two hours of mulching on Sunday.

Nor am I talking about trying to explain to a collections representative that a guardianship is more powerful than a mere power of attorney.

I'm certainly not talking about anything to do with Mr. Potato Dick.

I'm not even talking about the soul-searing anguish of discovering that I've put a hole in the heel of my neon-kitty socks.

No, I'm talking about the tortures of the damned. I have to sit here at work for another gross of minutes (yes, exactly 144 minutes) while at home, on my doorstop, is my LUSH order. It's sitting on my doorstep, lonely and waiting for me to come home, open it, sniff everything, sort all of my new stuff into the appropriate hidey-holes around the house, sigh longingly over the items I'm giving as gifts, and then, finally, take a bath with it!

This day will NEVER be over and I will NEVER get home to my Lush. *sob*















Okay, I managed to kill 4 minutes by blogging. I still want my Lush.

Embracing my inner whatever

Over the weekend, it was my inner drama queen, as I dealt with episodes of dizziness and was just positive it was the MS returning. Then I found out I've got an ear infection. *blush*

Earlier today, I embraced my inner cheapskate, as I whined about $210 worth of dog shots. Yes, it was time for the Annual Torturing of the Hounds. Dr. Bob said Bigfoot was a complete gentleman from start to finish, and Littlefoot behaved himself until it was time for the blood draw to test for heartworm, Lymes disease and erlichiosis. He decided Dr. Bob was going to use the needle to amputate his foot and he wasn't going to let it happen. Apparently, even though he was muzzled (at my insistence, the staff at the vet hospital have blanket permission to muzzle either of my dogs--they're too big to take chances with), he howled, thrashed, snarled and heaved his body all over the exam room. Brat.

Of my two former co-workers with MS-like symptoms, one apparently had some abnormalities in her spinal MRI and the other has no lesions whatsoever but disturbing symptoms. Both have follow-up appointments at the Cleveland Clinic, and hopefully will get some answers. I've had nothing but stellar care at the Mellen Center there (especially with Nurse Tardy retired *grin*). I wish them all the best and the amazing luck I have had.

Right now, I am embracing my inner raisin, after a long soak in the tub. It was, of course, a Lush bath, specifically one-fourth of a Blue Skies bubble bar. This one is pretty old--the nice blue color has faded, and there weren't many bubbles, but it still smelled great, and now so do I. And uh-oh, Lush has all kinds of new stuff out...good thing I don't have real credit cards, or I'd be embracing my inner bankrupt in about 20 minutes!

Bulbs, baths and burnt boobs

Saturday was a beautiful fall day in Ohio. I woke up early, got a month's worth of grocery shopping done, then came home and planted my last sixty-two bulbs and seven perennials. After I'd thrown away my old tennis shoes (one of which actually fell off my right foot while I was gardening!), it was only noon and I decided I'd earned a very special bath.

I still had half a Ceridwen's Cauldron from Lush and my entire "crop" of lavender for this year (six sprigs). I opened up the muslin, added my lavender, and dropped the whole thing into the bath. It was just wonderful! Not only did I get all the moisturizing bath oil benefits, but I got to enjoy knowing a big part of the luscious scent came from my efforts in my garden. And since I planted two more lavender bushes (shrubs?), next year I'll have even more to play with.

The only problem with the whole day was when I bent over to pick something up off the bathroom floor and my right breast smacked onto the heated towel rack. It's not hot enough to burn if I brush my hand against the bare metal, but in this case, the body part hitting it was both more thin-skinned and pressed down from its own weight. Thankfully, a friend to whom I whined reminded me that there's a reason I keep that aloe plant which is about the size of a small warthog (not that I have measured a lot of warthogs, it's just an eyeball estimate). Repeated applications have made the burn a lot less uncomfortable than it could have been (it's a flattish oval about 2" long).

I sincerely hope that was the end of "Stupid Week" and not the beginning of new and more stupid things!

*contented purry noises*

Almost all of my stuff from Amazon is here, and I'm absolutely enjoying myself. Years ago, I read Sorcery and Cecelia and loved it. It's a wonderful book, written in the style of letters from one cousin to another. I was thrilled to find out that it had been re-released, and a sequel, The Grand Tour written. I ordered the latter, and have discovered that Kate and Cecy are still wonderful people to spend an evening with, even if they do lead rather exhausting lives! I absolutely want both Shang and Mallie to read these books. Unfortunately, poor Shang never gets time to read, and not only is Mallie about 60 books behind, but she's going to Toronto this weekend to buy books, and I've already gotten her three more for Christmas!

I'm also excited because my Herbie Hancock CD, Possibilities, and I'm enjoying it. I bought the CD for the duet with John Mayer, "Stitched Up," but the other stuff is pretty good too. It does have the unfortunate side effect of winding me up a bit, which is not a good idea before bedtime. *bounce*

That difficulty could be cured with a hot bath--not only did the sweet and charming S-Des get me a goodie basket of Lush stuff, including a Green Day bubble bar, a Comforter bubble bar and an All That Jasmine bath bomb, but Amy got me two giant tubes full of bath bombs from a shop in Florida. I've got oodles of yummy smelling bath stuff, and ONE MORE WEEK before I can use it. Next Wednesday, I swear I am coming home, stripping, and getting straight into the tub!

Soothing stuff

Taking these pics helped almost as much as talking to Snick:





And I took the Heather's advice and had a Lush bath with a Happy Pill. I can't say that I'm particularly happy, but at least I'm relaxed and rested and I have pretty things to look at.

*Insert clever title here*

Around noon yesterday, I sincerely thought that Tuesday not only sucked, it clawed, scratched and bit as well. The day started with a dead animal in the road right at the end of my driveway, and since all I saw as I grabbed the first opportunity to peel out was brown fur, I was afraid it was Rooter. I got to work just in time to deal with incredibly rude clients, a boss who didn't have her cell phone on when she swore she would, and then followed all of that stress up with a warddrobe malfunction.

I came home early, and after parking the car, walked up to the mailbox. Because I was worried about my resident groundhog, I looked more closely at the corpse in the road than I would have. The good news was that it wasn't Rooter, but the bad news was both that it was a kitty-cat and that I saw more gross bits than I ever wanted to. There was a reason that I never applied for the position of veterinary technician, thanks. *blurg*

After I'd walked back to the house and into the breezeway, I looked into the backyard, and there was Rooter, pretending to be a tree stump. So now I had kitty inside pictures in my head, and I didn't even need to look. I noticed that the handle on the breezeway door was turned, as if someone had tried to open it and stopped when he or she realized it was locked. I knew it wasn't Amy, because she has a key, but I also know that the mail carrier usually at least tries to get packages under cover before she leaves them on the steps. I opened the door, and sure enough, there was a small brown box out there.

Once I had unwrapped the oversized plastic bag the box was swathed in, I saw that it was from my Canadian angel, she who is known as The Heather. Despite only having known me for a month or so, The Heather sent me a birthday package comprised of Lush goodies, including a Rainbow Worrier, which isn't even available online any more! The goodies made my day, and I didn't even need last night's indulgent, luxurious bath experience to perk me up. I still enjoyed said experience, though. *grin* The Heather is a lovely, wonderful, amazing person who truly understands the need for fabulous bath products. She is firmly on my smit list.

Today didn't start out quite as badly as yesterday, but it had its own ups and downs. Work wasn't so bad, but when I got home, I got a phone call from a former co-worker, a young woman in her early 30s. She has two little girls under the age of three, a husband working full time and trying to start his own business, and she's got symptoms which could be MS. We talked for a long time about how I was diagnosed, what MS is, what the treatment is, things like that. She's had a brain MRI, which showed no lesions, but hasn't had a spinal MRI. One thing a nurse did tell me when I was diagnosed is that if there are spinal lesions, you have active MS symptoms. I hope I walked the line between being hopeful and encouraging and sympathetic and not being too optimistic and Pollyannaish. I also hope she listened when I said that I am NOT a doctor, and while I read all the articles in the MS newsletter & magazine, I don't speak with any authority on anything but my own experience. I gave her my cell number, and told her to call me anytime--I do remember how scary it is just to not know. It is tremendously weird that in the first half of this year, someone else who works at the same place started showing MS-like symptoms. She had a clear MRI too, so she's still waiting while the doctors try to figure out what's going on. My heart goes out to both of them, and to their families.

I was a little down about that, and in a reflective mood when I took the trash out to the curb. I grabbed the mail, and there was a package from my brother and sister-in-law in Dallas. Inside was one of the cutest cards I've seen in ages, and two pairs of earrings my sister-in-law made, one sterling & freshwater pearls, and one sterling & round amethyst beads. They are absolutely gorgeous, and I'm looking forward to wearing them! Then, in a moment of silliness, I wrote a little scenario for one of my smittees, and he thought I should post it for everyone to see. Three other people at Lit thought I should submit "Ode to a Cucumber Sandwich" to the poetry section, so after a quick editing, I did so.

Lots of ups and downs this past half-week. I'm looking forward to the zoo tomorrow with Mom & my nephews, but not looking forward all that much to Friday. It's possible, though, that I will get lucky and slide my birthday under the radar this year. *crosses fingers* I don't mind online attention, but I get all pink and flustered when it happens offline.

Perfect bathrooms, fluffy pink baths, fluffy pink people

Last night, in a reversion to my high school years, I started a convo with Canuck Girl about a dream house in Canada with Canadian toilets, lots of land, a central area of the house with a huge kitchen, giant rooms for entertaining and communal lounging areas. Off the main area would be three wings, one for Canuck Girl and Runs with Beer, one for Sherri and Jay and one for me. That way, everyone has privacy and room for pets, but room to get together and have fun, too. As we were talking, I was perusing the Kohler website, and if you want to see something amusing, go to Kohler.com and look at the "Traditional" bathroom gallery. A strong stomach is a requirement, though. CG and I both agreed we could live with this one, which is contemporary, but this one just screams for the prisoners to riot. My personal favorite is this one, as it's in soft colors, the sink faucets spout from mirrored boxes and the overflow jacuzzi (a must!) fills from the ceiling. That is just so intensely cool. I'd need a giant addition on the back of my house to do that, so anybody interested in giving me $20K can drop me a line.

After that, it was a bit of a letdown to take a bath in my rust-stained, blue, too-small bathtub, but I managed to make do with very hot water, an Amandopondo bubble bar, a Chelsea Garden bath bomb and the attitude of a pink fluffy person to go with my pink fluffy bath. There was a lot of rose scent on and around me, and giant fluffy bubbles, and really, although I dream of giant extravagant bathtubs that fill from the ceiling, I wind up being happy with what I have. The bathroom looks much better now than it did when I moved in, I know that! I was browsing Lush's site, and they have some new bubble bars. I fell instantly in lust with the Sunny Side bubble bar. I shall be sending out a Lush wishlist to my entire family before the holidays. *grin* And yes, Snicker, you're part of the family.

This morning at the grocery store, I spotted the Chief Wahoo chocolate bars Mike's been dying for and can't get his paws on in Eerie. So I snagged five (and forgot the milk, how very me of me) and will mail them out on Monday. It made me wish I had pots and pots of money, so I could send things to friends whenever I wanted. *sigh* Hi, my name is Jammies, and I have a spending problem. I want to spend money both on myself and on my friends. I also found the cutest pair of terry flip-flops for my sister in law. They're orange and have monkey faces on the bit that joins the straps to the base. I'll have to take a pic and upload it. All in all, I have a very good start on my weekend of not doing anything.