Sunday, September 7, 2008

Late Lunch with Lioness

Very much on the spur of the moment, Fiery Lioness arranged a mini meet & sniff as she was returning to Michigan from Columbus. We met at the Rte. 18 exit from 71N, and headed for Miss Molly's Tearoom in Medina. We got lost on the square with its silly one-way streets and had to call Kogi, who got us the actual address, directions and the phone number.

We made it to the tearoom just as they were closing down the kitchen, so we quickly ordered lunch. Then we could open presents. FL got me an adorable otter and made me a very professional-looking book of otter pictures from her recent zoo visit (Imp, she reminded me of you--she went to a zoo on her honeymoon).

I got her assorted bath products and a very creepy BPAL version of Neil Gaiman's short story "Snow, Glass, Apples." As a side note, that's got to be the perviest version of Snow White I've run across, and not the good kind of pervy, either.

There was much perfoom on the table, and much sniffing was done as we talked.

I found out that Sea of Tranquility, a discontinued scent, is FL's Holy Grail and she doesn't have a bottle. Happily, I remembered that Tangoing Owls has a bottle for sale at a very reasonable price. I felt like a BPAL matchmaker, and was sorry I hadn't worn black with a head scarf. *grin*

As we were finishing our sandwiches, a group of women filed past us to line up for picture-taking in front of the fireplace. We offered to take pictures so that they could all be in them, and it was easy to see that FL has recently experienced a wedding photographer, as she herded the ladies into just the right position for me to take 2 pictures with each camera.

After that, all that remained was for us to pack up the precious and have our picture taken. As usual, I photograph like a troll, but we were having so much fun I'm thrilled to have the picture as a reminder.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Thanks, I needed that.

Work was just peachy until about 2 p.m. when Manufacturing exploded at me and got my boss involved. When everything was fixed up and done, I was just thrilled to get the heck outta Dodge and go walk with my mom and my dogs.

We went to the same park, but tried some different routes on the trail and got in a good forty or forty-five minutes of walking and climbing. I fell once, but thankfully I landed on my fat ass, so no damage was done. Bigfoot lost his footing once and sat down hard, but after Tuesday evening's walk, he was the only one not limping, so I think he's in better shape than I am.

Now that I'm home, I'm debating whether or not tonight calls for one of my hoarded Lush Marathon bubble bars. They're a little stinky, but a lot effective for sore muscles, and stupid Lush is discontinuing them. I have six left, which is twelve baths, and I'm campaigning like mad to get Lush to put them on the Retro menu. That's where they offer small amounts of discontinued items and I definitely will always need my Marathon!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


And hooray for that. It's 63° F right now, and I am happy to have a leetle cold front visiting. Plus, it's raining, so I don't have to go water my plants. The less I have to do at home, the better, because I am swamped at work.

My very first looseleaf publication builds on Friday, and of course, the idiot lawyers who are authoring it didn't get their final pages to me until mid-day today. It's four volumes with a CD, and I have to get it all done tomorrow so I can put it together on Friday. I'm seriously tempted to go smack these guys!

*deep breath*

Instead of thinking about work, I'm going to think about fall, which has always been my favorite season. I've always loved the look of the Harvest Moon, so I ordered the 2008 version of that scent from BPAL. As my darling Kogi always says, "It could smell like accord of ass and I'd still buy it" just for the associations with autumn. I want to smell like a fat round gold thing on a cold night!

Speaking of BPAL and associations, I keep running into phoenixes. I love BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab) perfumes, my current favorite bath & body product scent is Phoenix from Julphia, our proprietary software at work is called Phoenix, I pass an office or something for the University of Phoenix every day on my way to work, and a new second-hand car dealership just opened up down the street from me called Phoenix Auto Sales. I can hear my little brother saying it's just coincidence (Hi, Captain Crossword!), but I can't shake the feeling that maybe it's more than that...

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Every time I think I've got my Giant List Of Greed complete, Erin comes up with something new and wonderful. So far, she's made a pirate sock zombie, a samurai sock zombie and now sock zombie puppets, all available on her Etsy store.

This one was a custom order, but I seriously want her to sell them on Etsy now:

A cat zombie. How freaking adorable is that?

I wonder if I could get a discount for referring all my crazy BPALz?

Friday, August 8, 2008

Skindecent saved my life last night


I'll tell the story in a moment, but I have to preface it by telling Scott that if he makes one freaking comment about inside dogs, I will burst into tears and kick him sharply on the ankles. Stuff happens, I need to vent about it, and I don't want any extra grief. So there!

This has been a difficult and draining week at work. I've got one book that is the first revised edition in seven years, and another where the authors wanted an extra month to get us really lame content revisions and the head office wants us to still have it out by August 30th. Add to that my night-of-not-sleeping thanks to Ophelia's canine soulmate, and it's been hard.

Last night, I came home, had coffee, let the dogs in & out and fed them, ate dinner myself and went to water the plants. To do that, I have to bypass my fancypants new water softener, which involves a trip to the basement.

Down in the front half of the basement, aka the dogs' half, there are two room-sized pieces of carpet from when Mom & I re-did the bedrooms. They are down there because I felt guilty locking my dogs up on concrete floors all day. In the last 3 or so years, there have been some accidents, but I've cleaned up right away and it hasn't been too awful.

That is, until yesterday. When I went downstairs, I could both smell and see that someone had been very sick on both pieces of carpet. I switched the water over, zipped out and watered the tomatoes, then went back downstairs to deal with the mess.

On closer examination, it was very clear that the carpet was unsalvageable this time. Back upstairs I went, and then I returned to the basement with my good snips. I grabbed a couple of rags, cleaned up what I could, and then cut both pieces of carpet in half. Then came the bad part.

I had to get the carpet upstairs and out last night, because my trash pickup was early this morning, my city will only take one room's worth of carpet per pickup, and I didn't want all of it sitting around until next week. Not only was the carpet disgusting, it hadn't aged well--years in the basement had cause the backing to dry up into thoroughly rough and scratchy burlap.

By the time I had wrestled three of the four pieces upstairs, I was filthy, sodden with sweat, itching from head to toes and still had to get the blue pieces out to the curb. After I'd done so, all I wanted to do was remove all of my skin and hair from my body and grow in new stuff.

There was no way I was taking a bath in that condition, so I rummaged around in my bathroom cupboard, found a sugar scrub and bath cream in Pillow Fight scent from Skindecent, used it in a cool shower, and finally felt clean and human.

Then my dad called. When I told him what I'd been up to, he said in a very sweet and slightly chiding voice that he would have come over to help. I told him I knew that, but it needed to be done right away, and I wasn't going to haul him out of the house just to help me deal with something that was the fault of my dogs. He said he'd try to recover from the hurt feelings. ;)

We had a lot of thunder, lightning and wind last night, plus a teensy amount of rain. My plants didn't get any extra water, but my trash can got knocked over, the cardboard I had out for the recycling truck got wet, and the carpet got unrolled and wet. Bless them, the trash guys picked everything up anyway, and next week I will be securing the carpet with duct tape.

I'll get the last piece out of the basement after I duct tape it first so it doesn't unroll on the stairs, and then all I have to worry about is Kentucky tort law!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Let there be (drinkable) water

Yes, there will be water in time for JammiesFest '08. Rob will not have to worry about remembering which is the potable water if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and I will be a relaxed and happy Jammies owing to my renewed ability to bathe.

On either June 30th (hopefully) or July 7th (more likely), Clearwater Systems will be installing a new AquaSystems Smart Choice 200 model water softener.

I'm so excited I may go organize my bath products, and I am already debating what scent my celebratory bath should be.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Buggre All This Everything

The following is from Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

The book was commonly known as the Buggre Alle This Bible.* The lengthy compositor's error, if such it may be called, occurs in the book of Ezekiel, chapter 48, verse five:

2. And bye the border of Dan, fromme the east side to the west side, a portion for Afher.
3. And bye the border of Afhter, fromme the east side even untoe the west side, a portion for Naphtali.
4. And bye the border of Naphtali, from the east side untoe the west side, a portion for Manaffeh.
5. Buggre all this for a Larke. I amme sick to mye Hart of typeƒettinge. Master Biltonn if no Gentelmann, and Master Scagges noe more than a tighte fisted Southwarke Knobbeƒticke. I telle you, onne a daye laike thif Ennywone half an oz. of Sense should bee oute in the Sunneshain, ane nott Stucke here alle the liuelong daie inn thiƒ mowldey olde By-Our-Lady Workeƒhoppe. @*"Æ@;!*
6 And bye the border of Ephraim, from the east fide even untoe the west fide, a portion for Reuben.

*[The Buggre Alle This Bible was also noteworthy for having twenty seven verses in the third chapter of Genesis, instead of the more usual twenty four.

They followed verse 24, which in the King James version reads:

"So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life," and read:

25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword which was given unto thee?
26 And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.
27 And the Lord did not ask him again.

It appears that these verses were inserted during the proof stage. In those days it was common practice for printers to hang proof sheets to the wooden beams outside their shops, for the edification of the populace and some free proofreading, and since the whole print run was subsequently burned anyway, no one bothered to take up this matter with the nice Mr. A. Ziraphale, who ran the bookshop two doors along and was always so helpful with the translations, and whose handwriting was instantly recognizable.]

It was this passage (or paƒƒage) which made me realize that I am essentially a high-tech typesetter (not that I mind, it's actually good to have a label to use when I need to answer the "What do you do" question). After last week, I'd replace "Master Scraggs" with "Miƒtreƒƒ Patricia," but other than that, I'm familiar with the temptation.

Got my water softener estimates today. The good news is that it's not $3,500 or even $3,000 but probably more like $1,800-$1,900. The bad news is that is 95 Ladies of the Grindhouse, 158 Body Glaze Samplers or just under 30 dog baths!

Dad was a big help this afternoon, asking questions and letting me think out loud after all the salesmen had left. He also took a look at my bathroom fan, couldn't fix it, and took the carcass away to get a new one (which I hope will be installed before JammiesFest). He also did all my Windows updates and admired my Kogimugs (but refused to use one on the grounds that he would feel awful if he broke it). It was a productive afternoon if not an exciting one.

It looks as if JammiesFest will have usable water but possibly a lot of ramen on the menu. Ahh well, the most important thing is the time with the friends willing to drive all this way to be here. :)

Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Jammies without a bath is like

...any unpleasant simile, really. I am sore and cranky and all rumpled up in my soul. Plus my bathtub is blue with orange from my showers (which are so very not the same as a bath) and my dishwasher is a giant drying rack and I'm worried about doing laundry.

On Monday there are three companies coming to give me estimates, and my dad is going to try to be here. Nothing like a Monday full of grumpy old men. :P

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Even more progress

Despite an ugly bout of powerbarfing first thing this morning, I managed to get myself together and get some things done. There are only four bags of mulch left in the garage, and I can get my car in again. Those last four bags are earmarked for the spot in the back flower bed which needs a layer of limestone gravel laid down to absorb the water before I can mulch.

The laundry is almost done, the bathroom has been scoured, and all but eight of the houseplants are now outside where they can revel in sunshine and fresh air. My sheets are changed and I've done a quick inventory of the linen closet. I need another set of nice twin sheets, and I'm down to only fifteen Ice Hotels. If Lush NA ever gets their act together on offering Retro products, I foresee a great poorness in my future, especially with new scents from Skindecent and BPAL. Oh, and my second invention has made the Skindecent scent list. The first, as my few loyal readers will remember, was Treefrog Jammies, a blend of green scents & lavender. The new one is a combo of key lime, maraschino cherries & ginger ale, named Ultrasonic by a fellow Lushie named Andromedi.

Thanks to my assorted addictions, I'm rather spoiled for choice. Right now, for example, I am trying to decide what scent to use for my bath tonight. Whatever I decide on, the bathtub is one of my most important refuges. The other is my garden, especially when I am out there watering.

I was trying to describe to a friend what I love about watering plants. It's hard to verbalize because I am not a particularly philosophical person, but there's a ritual aspect to it, a definite sense of being connected to the earth, the plants, the water and a sort of calm chance to contemplate whatever my little butterfly brain feels like thinking about. I guess articulating the process doesn't really make much difference--it still feels good.

And now I have to go retrieve Bigfoot, who is outside barking hysterically at poor Rooter. *eye roll*

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A true friend will tell you when you stink! :-)

Granted, Maresche wasn't that blunt today at work, but she did make me aware that I cannot use tea tree oil-based products if I am going to be around other people. I have been using a Lush shower gel to try to tame some severe skin irritation, and while I thought the smell was fading, it turns out I'd just gotten used to it. Thankfully, I'm now aware that I smell like an ancient medicine cabinet when I use it, and will confine my self-treatments to weekends.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Very very funny stuff

I sent a box to a friend from the Lush message board this week, and this was what she posted in the BPAL thread after she got the package:

We interrupt this episode of "Days of Our BPAL" to bring you this special news bulletin.

Today I come on home to find a package waiting for me. ¿Qué? I have nothing from ebay coming, it's too big to be Queenies decants, and it's not from the Lab. What is this curiosity? I do not immediately recognize the name on the return address, although the town is familiar.

Well, I must immediately open this, even if it is a bomb, or a severed head, or some disgusting curse from that crazy woman who thinks she is a Wizard-demon and hates me (I meet such interesting people...)

Well, opened it I did, and I must say that JAMMIES IS THE SHIT!

Yes, it was a lovely and unexpected package from our own RedJammies. And I just remembered that you PM'd me a while back asking about scents and I forgot to respond. Please excuse my rudeness, and anyone else I failed to respond to, I've been sick off-and-on for the past few weeks with a virus with a stupid name I won't even attempt to spell (although there are a lot of x's in it, and possibly a pound sign or ampersand), and even under the best of circumstances I am forgetful and easily distracted.

Jammies was kind enough to send me a little mini-suitcase filled with all sorts of goodies. There were some Julphia scrubs, a wee keychain imp holder, and some chocolatey things I'm just praying are coated with ecstasy. But the pièce de résistance is, naturally, a silver-sparkly phallus-shaped soap, scented with Lurid Library, and filled with...lemons? She said it was supposed to be a clockwork penis, to match my clockwork necklace, and I must believe her. I suppose once I use it, I can discover what those nebulous shapes floating mid-peen really are. Regardless, I love everything you sent me. Konichiwa, Jammies-chan. I just totally inserted four languages into this post, w00t!

RedJammies, thank you. I sincerely mean that from the bottom of my clockwork heart. And thank you, and the United States Postal Service, for the perfect timing as far as delivery goes. For I had a guest at my opening of the Mystery Box Full of Penis.

My mom.

Helpless Lush wrote:
LOLOLOL!!!! I love it! Jammies is the shit!

What did Mom think?

*scene opens on Miss Owls opening the Jammies care package*

ME: "What is's not anything off of eBay..."

*finds card, reads card*

ME: "OH! It's from a friend of mine."

MA OWLS: "Who do you know in Cuyahoga Falls?"

ME: "Oh, it's someone I know from online."

MA OWLS: "You know them in real life?"

ME: "No, we're on the same forum---er, it's like a place to talk and post messages. It's a, uh *embarrassed cough* soap forum. And, uh, those little perfumes I wear that you always manage to describe in such a way that makes me never want to wear them again."

MA OWLS: "So someone online you don't know, and never met, is sending you packages you didn't expect. Is that chocolate? You shouldn't eat that, they could be poisoned."

ME: "What?! Ma, they're not poisoned, it's fine, I know her."

MA OWLS: "They could be, you don't know. You hear things on the news, on the myspace, it's all full of crazy shut-ins."

ME: "MA! I'm online."

MA OWLS: "My point exactly. What the hell is that!?"

ME: "Er, nothing, it's soap."

MA OWLS: "No it's not, I saw it, it's a dildo!"

ME: "MA!"

MA OWLS: "Oh, stop blushing, I know you know what it is. Why are people you met online sending you dildos?! What the hell are you doing online?"

ME: "IT'S NOT A DILDO! It's the shape of one."

MA OWLS: "Well that's stupid. Won't your body heat just melt it?"

ME: "Wha-MA! That's-tha' *sputter*"

MA OWLS: "You know you're not supposed to use soap down there. You'll get the yeasts."

ME: "Ma, please, for my sanity, just stop talking about it. It's not for...that. It's just amusingly shaped soap."

MA OWLS: "And why do you need strangers sending you perishable dildos anyway? There's that shop down by the U-Haul where you can just buy one."

ME: "MA! Please, for the love of God, don't give me sex-toy shopping advice!"

MA OWLS: "Well, I mean, c'mon, when was the last time you went on a date? Things must be getting dusty downstairs."

ME: "Excuse me, Ma, I have to go...wash my brain off with bleach."

MA OWLS: "Oh, the scrubby-thing smells nice."

*end scene*

Thursday, March 27, 2008

CRS Syndrome

I was yakking with Mallie, looking at macros on I Has a Hotdog and playing "Duelling Banjos" on Bigfoot's side, which I do whenever he comes and leans on me. I thought of something I should write about here, opened up the "Create New Post" window, and promptly forgot whatever it was. Yup, I'm getting old.

So instead of whatever it was I was going to write about, I'm reduced to sharing snippets.

I thought of Scott when I got a Spam e-mail titled "The quicker pecker-upper" (a play on a paper towel tagline).

I'm currently reading "The Perfect Scent" by Chandler Burr and enjoying the heck out of it. I just finished "21 Dog Years", and I'm wondering when the subtitle changed from "Doing Time @" to "A Cube-Dweller's Tale."

Lush's Olive Branch is the perfect smoky orange scent and I wish they made everything in this--I would buy it and walk around smelling like this all day.

Today I had my annual OB/Gyn checkup, and Hot Doctor was cute and funny and charming as always. One funny moment--as I was checking in and going over insurance stuff, the UPS guy arrived, and when asked for the name on the package, looked at it very quickly and said "Dr. Bits." *snerk*

My MS Walk sponsorships are up to six, even if none of you blog readers has offered. :P

Oh, and I am loving the new Lowe's commercial with the bear.

And I still can't remember what I was going to post when I opened up the window.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

More enabling

For Mom's birthday, I got her six sample lotions from Julphia, and not only does she like the floral scents I chose for her, she likes "having a stash of bath products." Bwahahaha!

When I was in Florida, I gave Mallie a bar of Lush Snowcake soap, which is a Christmas-only almond frosting scent. She loved it so much I wound up getting her more for her birthday, and I know what one of her Christmas pressies is going to be as well.

On Tuesday, when Maresche and I headed downstairs to get bagels, a coworker was behind us and she said, "One of you smells really good." Maresche indicated that it was probably me, and the coworker asked what I was wearing. I said, "Vanilla, sandalwood and orange," and she looked at me and said, "All together?" Wednesday morning I took in a business card and sample of the Julphia conditioner I'd used the previous day. Speaking of Julphia, she's having a hard time with the MS right now, so if everyone would please send lots of good thoughts, that would be great.

And finally, because of my "cheap date" post on Saturday, I've got Scott interested in bath bombs, as long as they're not "girly."

Pretty good enabling scorecard for the week. *buffs nails*

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Who needs booze?

Not me (I'm a cheap drunk anyway), especially when I can get the same effect by combining MS with a too-hot, too-long bath. Tonight I combined a Lush Amandopondo bubble bar with a Tisty-Tosty ballistic, and followed up with lemon sugar lotion. I smell like roses & lemons, which is much better than most drunks smell when they're at the stage where I am!

Plus, I get to cuddle down in my bed and smell yumminess until I pass out.

*happy sigh*