A true friend will tell you when you stink! :-)

Granted, Maresche wasn't that blunt today at work, but she did make me aware that I cannot use tea tree oil-based products if I am going to be around other people. I have been using a Lush shower gel to try to tame some severe skin irritation, and while I thought the smell was fading, it turns out I'd just gotten used to it. Thankfully, I'm now aware that I smell like an ancient medicine cabinet when I use it, and will confine my self-treatments to weekends.

Very very funny stuff

I sent a box to a friend from the Lush message board this week, and this was what she posted in the BPAL thread after she got the package:

We interrupt this episode of "Days of Our BPAL" to bring you this special news bulletin.

Today I come on home to find a package waiting for me. ¿Qué? I have nothing from ebay coming, it's too big to be Queenies decants, and it's not from the Lab. What is this curiosity? I do not immediately recognize the name on the return address, although the town is familiar.

Well, I must immediately open this, even if it is a bomb, or a severed head, or some disgusting curse from that crazy woman who thinks she is a Wizard-demon and hates me (I meet such interesting people...)

Well, opened it I did, and I must say that JAMMIES IS THE SHIT!

Yes, it was a lovely and unexpected package from our own RedJammies. And I just remembered that you PM'd me a while back asking about scents and I forgot to respond. Please excuse my rudeness, and anyone else I failed to respond to, I've been sick off-and-on for the past few weeks with a virus with a stupid name I won't even attempt to spell (although there are a lot of x's in it, and possibly a pound sign or ampersand), and even under the best of circumstances I am forgetful and easily distracted.

Jammies was kind enough to send me a little mini-suitcase filled with all sorts of goodies. There were some Julphia scrubs, a wee keychain imp holder, and some chocolatey things I'm just praying are coated with ecstasy. But the pièce de résistance is, naturally, a silver-sparkly phallus-shaped soap, scented with Lurid Library, and filled with...lemons? She said it was supposed to be a clockwork penis, to match my clockwork necklace, and I must believe her. I suppose once I use it, I can discover what those nebulous shapes floating mid-peen really are. Regardless, I love everything you sent me. Konichiwa, Jammies-chan. I just totally inserted four languages into this post, w00t!

RedJammies, thank you. I sincerely mean that from the bottom of my clockwork heart. And thank you, and the United States Postal Service, for the perfect timing as far as delivery goes. For I had a guest at my opening of the Mystery Box Full of Penis.

My mom.

Helpless Lush wrote:
LOLOLOL!!!! I love it! Jammies is the shit!

What did Mom think?


*scene opens on Miss Owls opening the Jammies care package*

ME: "What is this...it's not anything off of eBay..."

*finds card, reads card*

ME: "OH! It's from a friend of mine."

MA OWLS: "Who do you know in Cuyahoga Falls?"

ME: "Oh, it's someone I know from online."

MA OWLS: "You know them in real life?"

ME: "No, we're on the same forum---er, it's like a place to talk and post messages. It's a, uh *embarrassed cough* soap forum. And, uh, those little perfumes I wear that you always manage to describe in such a way that makes me never want to wear them again."

MA OWLS: "So someone online you don't know, and never met, is sending you packages you didn't expect. Is that chocolate? You shouldn't eat that, they could be poisoned."

ME: "What?! Ma, they're not poisoned, it's fine, I know her."

MA OWLS: "They could be, you don't know. You hear things on the news, on the myspace, it's all full of crazy shut-ins."

ME: "MA! I'm online."

MA OWLS: "My point exactly. What the hell is that!?"

ME: "Er, nothing, it's soap."

MA OWLS: "No it's not, I saw it, it's a dildo!"

ME: "MA!"

MA OWLS: "Oh, stop blushing, I know you know what it is. Why are people you met online sending you dildos?! What the hell are you doing online?"

ME: "IT'S NOT A DILDO! It's soap....in the shape of one."

MA OWLS: "Well that's stupid. Won't your body heat just melt it?"

ME: "Wha-MA! That's-tha' *sputter*"

MA OWLS: "You know you're not supposed to use soap down there. You'll get the yeasts."

ME: "Ma, please, for my sanity, just stop talking about it. It's not for...that. It's just amusingly shaped soap."

MA OWLS: "And why do you need strangers sending you perishable dildos anyway? There's that shop down by the U-Haul where you can just buy one."

ME: "MA! Please, for the love of God, don't give me sex-toy shopping advice!"

MA OWLS: "Well, I mean, c'mon, when was the last time you went on a date? Things must be getting dusty downstairs."

ME: "Excuse me, Ma, I have to go...wash my brain off with bleach."

MA OWLS: "Oh, the scrubby-thing smells nice."

*end scene*

CRS Syndrome

I was yakking with Mallie, looking at macros on I Has a Hotdog and playing "Duelling Banjos" on Bigfoot's side, which I do whenever he comes and leans on me. I thought of something I should write about here, opened up the "Create New Post" window, and promptly forgot whatever it was. Yup, I'm getting old.

So instead of whatever it was I was going to write about, I'm reduced to sharing snippets.

I thought of Scott when I got a Spam e-mail titled "The quicker pecker-upper" (a play on a paper towel tagline).

I'm currently reading "The Perfect Scent" by Chandler Burr and enjoying the heck out of it. I just finished "21 Dog Years", and I'm wondering when the subtitle changed from "Doing Time @ Amazon.com" to "A Cube-Dweller's Tale."

Lush's Olive Branch is the perfect smoky orange scent and I wish they made everything in this--I would buy it and walk around smelling like this all day.

Today I had my annual OB/Gyn checkup, and Hot Doctor was cute and funny and charming as always. One funny moment--as I was checking in and going over insurance stuff, the UPS guy arrived, and when asked for the name on the package, looked at it very quickly and said "Dr. Bits." *snerk*

My MS Walk sponsorships are up to six, even if none of you blog readers has offered. :P

Oh, and I am loving the new Lowe's commercial with the bear.

And I still can't remember what I was going to post when I opened up the window.

More enabling

For Mom's birthday, I got her six sample lotions from Julphia, and not only does she like the floral scents I chose for her, she likes "having a stash of bath products." Bwahahaha!

When I was in Florida, I gave Mallie a bar of Lush Snowcake soap, which is a Christmas-only almond frosting scent. She loved it so much I wound up getting her more for her birthday, and I know what one of her Christmas pressies is going to be as well.

On Tuesday, when Maresche and I headed downstairs to get bagels, a coworker was behind us and she said, "One of you smells really good." Maresche indicated that it was probably me, and the coworker asked what I was wearing. I said, "Vanilla, sandalwood and orange," and she looked at me and said, "All together?" Wednesday morning I took in a business card and sample of the Julphia conditioner I'd used the previous day. Speaking of Julphia, she's having a hard time with the MS right now, so if everyone would please send lots of good thoughts, that would be great.

And finally, because of my "cheap date" post on Saturday, I've got Scott interested in bath bombs, as long as they're not "girly."

Pretty good enabling scorecard for the week. *buffs nails*

Who needs booze?

Not me (I'm a cheap drunk anyway), especially when I can get the same effect by combining MS with a too-hot, too-long bath. Tonight I combined a Lush Amandopondo bubble bar with a Tisty-Tosty ballistic, and followed up with lemon sugar lotion. I smell like roses & lemons, which is much better than most drunks smell when they're at the stage where I am!

Plus, I get to cuddle down in my bed and smell yumminess until I pass out.

*happy sigh*

Decision Time

Since I will have limited space on the cruise, I need to pick one daytime and one evening scent for bath & body products.

The contenders are:

Daytime:

IoE Frozen Lilac Posy (very soft lilac) 1 vote
Skindecent Treefrog Jammies (piney green notes with lavender) 2 votes
Julphia Snow Angel (white tea with a hint of mint) with BPAL Snow Storm 2 votes

Evening:

Skindecent Pink Carnation with BPAL Pink Moon '07 3 votes
Julphia Sandalwood Vanilla 2 votes
Skindecent Sweet Seduction (white musk, white sugar) 0 votes

Super Enabler

In the world of bath product fan/addicts/fanatics, "enabling" simply means to get someone else interested/intrigued/addicted to a particular scent or brand. I've done most of my enabling to Skindecent. Mallie, Maresche, Doc, Amy and Vintage Girl are all hooked on assorted products or scents from this truly amazing company. Second is Julphia, to which I have lured KellyGirl, Vintage Girl and MaryMargrt. By the end of 2007, I hope to have my Super Enabler cape, decoder ring and merit badge.

A while back, I did a swap with someone and got my paws on a lovely perfume (Autumn Romance) from Patrician Treasures. I wore it to work one day, and Blondezilla went absolutely Librarian-poo over it. I sent her the link to the website, and about fifteen minutes later, got this wistful little e-mail saying, "There's so many scents! How do you choose?" Bwahahahaha! You get one of everything that sounds good, of course!